The Difference 10 Minutes can Make in Your Child’s Life

Research suggests that spending 10 minutes a day with your child can deepen connections and relationships.

Kari Schulte, a Clinical Supervisor within Wedgwood’s Substance Use Disorder Program, shares her expertise and the value she sees in the practice. “You’re building a relationship that will last for your child’s entire life. Shared experiences create positive memories. Parents are a kid’s safe space and it’s important that you show them how much that time means to you by being fully present.”

The challenge

Seems like a simple task, right? So why is this a struggle for parents? “We live in an outrageously fast paced and overscheduled world”, Schulte states. “We’re being pulled in a hundred different directions and each direction introduces a hundred different expectations and things to remember.”

It can be difficult to unplug in today’s world. The responsibilities that adult’s carry on a daily basis turn it into what seems like, a never-ending cycle. “Our phones are yelling at us all day long with alerts to texts, emails and notifications that demand an immediate response. Parents have long, stressful days at work coupled with the demands at home of making dinner, cleaning the house, shuttling kids to practice, juggling relationships and countless other responsibilities to take care of. When we finally do have a quiet minute, it can be hard to figure out what to do with it.”

Are you being fully present?

While there are certainly challenges you face on a daily basis, your child notices when your mind is elsewhere and it impacts them more than you realize. “When you’re not fully present, you are communicating to them that they are not important and you’re creating a wall between you. Kids know when you’re not fully listening. It’s our job as parents to create safe, open environments with our kids so they have a place to go where they know they will be safe, heard and seen. If you aren’t that safe space, who will be?  Where will your child go to find validation if they aren’t getting it from you?”

Schulte notes, “I need my kids to know that they can come to me when they are feeling sad, happy, overwhelmed, proud, or when they are feeling left out. They need to know that their feelings matter to me, no matter what they are. I need them to know that now, so that they know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will listen when they are dealing with bigger, scarier things in the future.”

Where to start?

So where do you even start? Like many things, it may be easier said than done but spending 10 minutes a day with your child starts simply with being mindful with your intentions. Be intentional with your time. Start by taking inventory of your schedule, whether it’s making mental notes or by using a planner. Ask yourself, does this bring value to me or my family? Begin carving out time for your children, even if it’s just 10 minutes a day – it can make a world of difference.

6 activity ideas (outside of screen time) you can do with your child to build connection:

1. 1. Work on a Lego project together

   2. Have dinner together and ask each other questions about your day.

   3. Play catch, kick a soccer ball, or throw a frisbee

   4. Walk around the block or visit a local park

   5. Play a board game together

   6. Read a chapter of a book aloud

 

In conclusion, at the end of the day – the activity you choose to do serves solely as the vehicle you can use to be able to spend time together. What matter’s most is your undivided attention as a parent. Not only will being present for 10 minutes a day contribute to growing a stronger bond, it will help your child grow into a more well-rounded, healthier adult. So what do you say? Are you willing to set aside this small amount of time each day? We challenge you to give it a try and watch your relationship flourish.