The Power of One Caring Adult

Jason Lheureux, Director of Residential Programs at Wedgwood Christian Services, joined the podcast to discuss practical ways for adults to have a significant impact in the lives of youth. Jason was on the State of the Child panel and shares his experience of the event, what the state of the child is, how adults can impact youth, barriers that adults may face, and many other great insights on our latest episode. It will inform you on how to be a positive adult for a child and how you can best care for and support them.

How to Be a Positive Adult:

1. You Are Involved in Their Life and a Safe Person.

This does not mean that you are necessarily the parent. It is essential that you are intentionally connecting with the kid regularly. This does not mean that you need to know everything, but it is important to ask the kid how they are feeling and if they have a person that is safe to talk to (such as a therapist or coach).

2. Showing Up

As adults, we sometimes try to show up for our youth but it’s on our terms, or it’s what we think the youth wants, or we try to support and relate to our child the way in the way that we would want our adult friends to relate and support us. It’s different than youth as they work differently than we do. In addition to being physically and mentally present, it is important to ask questions to get to further know your child which will help you know how to best provide for them. You are not providing them with the help that you want to provide. You’re providing them the help and support that they need and are looking for.

It makes a huge different in the lives of a kid to have an adult walking along them to remind them that they are not alone and that it will be ok, especially when kids have experienced people coming in and out of their life.

Potential Barriers as Adults

Not Knowing What Kids are Into These Days

It is alright to not speak the language that youth use, share the same priorities or interests, know pop-culture references or social media trends. This can be a good thing that you do not fully understand your kid as it allows you to be curious about them and to start building a connection. It is important to let the youth set the tone of the relationship and even guide conversations because it is your role to be there for them.

Jason Lheureux discussed the concept of trying to find ways to allow your children to be the subject matter experts. By just checking in, you can see the change in the kid’s tone of their voice, energy level, and body language. You will notice that they will most likely begin to share their interests when they notice that you are curious. Some of the stuff that kids are into are funny, interesting, engaging, and meaningful. Kids know more and have more to teach than you may think, but you will never know until you ask.

“You’d be surprised how often you can let a child be in charge of the relationship”

How do I Practically be there for a Kid?

Consistency is Key

You can’t half check in, and half check out. Your kid will notice if you are not fully engaging, and it may limit the depth of the relationship. Adults, do not beat yourself up if you make a mistake, you will have another opportunity.

Be Genuine

You must be honest. This means that you can’t try to use their jargon to be cool and pretend that you have a favorite superhero if you’ve never seen a Marvel movie. Youth can pick up inauthenticity very quickly. So being authentic and being honest are very important.

Be a Role Model

You must set a good example and be a role model for your kid. It is important to not live hypocritical but to model the behaviors that you want the youth to demonstrate. Ex: You can’t tell a youth that they spend too much time on their phone if your phone is out at the dinner table. You can’t expect your teenager to understand the importance of not using substances if, you’re driving them to school and you’re using your vape.

“The state of the child is always changing. It is very exciting and very complicated. The world and the lives that our children lead is multifaceted and complex and are deserving of the time.”

Final Notes

One of the main complaints that children will have for their parents, teachers, pastors, for their coaches, is you don’t really care. So adults, please be there for your kid and the youth. You can make a profound impact in their life.

It is important to remember that you can’t rush the process and must be patient. Your child is growing according to their blueprint. Their experience will be different than the experience you had as a child.

“You know, I would challenge most adults, that your kids know more and have more to teach you than they think they do, and you never know until you ask.”

For more relevant information, check out The Power of Positivity: How to Be a Health Role Model for Kids as well as previous podcast episodes.